When the old golfer died, Peter met him at the gates of heaven. “Sorry, old man,” Peter said, “But I can’t let you in. You see the big book here says you committed one unpardonable sin back in 1978 – You took the Lord’s name in vain during a golf game.”
“Oh, yes. I’ll never forget that one, and I’m terribly sorry Peter, but I can explain…”, the old golfer blithered.
“Well,” said Peter, “You’ll have to take it up with The Big Guy.”
So Peter led the old golfer down a long golden hallway, to God’s office. “We’ve got another code 6 here, sir! Says he can explain…”
“So,” booms God, “You’ve been taking my name in vain.”
“Only once, your Almighty, Sir. But I can explain!”
“OK. Try me, ” replied the Lord.
“Well you see sir, I was playing my best game of golf ever, and I made it to the 18th hole, and I’d win the tournament if I could just make par on this hole. I made my shot from the tee, and it was sailing beautifully, when suddenly the wind shifted, and took my ball off into the woods, and right behind this enormous oak tree…”
“And that’s when you took my name in vain?”
“Oh, no, sir! I just took out my 6 iron and knocked that ball clear out of the woods with one swing! It was gliding beautifully toward the green, when suddenly it lost speed, and dropped into a sand trap, right smack in the middle of a deep hole…”
“So, that is when you took my name in vain?”
“No, not then. I just took out my nine, and with one swing, drove that ball right onto the green, and it rolled within two inches of the hole…”
“Don’t tell me you missed a goddamn two inch putt!”