I’m parting the sea between brightness and me before I drown myself and everyone and everything. I got my hands behind my back with two fingers overlapped because I can never keep my word and I share with the undeserved for some cheap acceptance in return. The water will shape the sides and I’ll walk with my head held high and when it all comes crashing in it will be worth it if I’m still breathing. If actions speak louder than words, I’m the most deafening noise you’ve heard. I’ll be that ringing in your ears that will stick around for years.
I feel what’s best for everyone is to forget about me when I’m gone because it hurts to be missed and no one is deserving this. With my back to a hard wood floor I understand that I’m not a provider but a center divider. I got lanes to explain the different ways I behave. A life that’s a detour to where I am not sure if the sun is in my eyes. I think I’m
doing the right thing. I rely on exit sings and destination times and this drive that knows me better than I think I know myself. With that being said, I won’t play pretend that I’m not growing up, that I’m not giving in.
The Great Repetition
With intermission ending, the finale’s approaching, it’s not what you’re expecting because you’re all involved. Now will you take your seats and be quiet? Please I need all eyes on me as I try to explain. This is my final act so I’ll need full attention and for my final trick, I’ll make everyone who loves me disappear but I won’t know how to bring them back. Alone I’ll stand on this stage, no one to care myself, to blame an act with no conclusion. That’s me up there that’s me. Repetition.
Retracing my steps in hopes to find some trace of me that may be somewhere left behind. There’s a fear, there’s a point, there is a problem. What if what I find won’t solve them? And I wonder why I have no motivation. I guess I just answered my own question: I’m not the golden boy so don’t shine me on. I’m the bastard son of romantic babylon with veins that are all fashioned out of copper. A past design not destined to be conquered but like anything, there is a flaw inscripted deep that may explain everything.
Uppers / Downers
You won’t find me buried in my notebook, I’ll be the one that’s self-crucified because i did this to myself. I hammered my own nails while I exclaimed: “I’m not a poet to inspire, I barely made it through the expectations of myself and everything I do to look up to me is to look down on everything”.
You said I’m always on the go. How nice of you to notice a toast to all those broken homes. Everyone I know is a fortress. I kiss ellipses a fork in all my one way roads. I sit to see what happens but apathy is easy for me so I’ll accept this challenge. I don’t know how to help myself up. Your pressure is bending my crutch. If this thing breaks it’s the end of us both but I like the sound of that.
Don’t ask me why. Have you ever wondered why I always drive alone? Same reasons why I never pick up my phone. I have these issues which you can’t subscribe and I’m scared to talk to anyone for what they might prescribe. These days I just try to keep to myself well aware. I’ve lost touch with everyone else. I understand that I’m fading away. I’d rather play dead than play catch-up because no one really cares all that much. I can’t keep having the same conversations. I look to the floor to keep concentration focused hard on every single word.