“Master Edgar, please forgive me.”
Raven seemed to be his normal calm self as he knelt.
But even Lydia could tell that his apology wasn’t because he’d been unable to save Ermine. He’d let go of his sister for her sake. For his sister who had chosen to die, he disobeyed his master’s order. Raven, who entrusted the spirit within him to Edgar, must have had to prepare for the worst when he disobeyed the order.
That’s why Edgar said that quietly. Still sitting, he held his knees and buried his fingers in his blond hair and seemed to be fighting to suppress his rage. Most likely, anger that was directed at himself.
“……I’m the one who should be apologising to you. I wasn’t able to do anything about Ermine’s pain. Even though she seemed to be troubled about something.”
“I should have made love with her,” his soft murmur was almost like a sigh.
Lydia sensed that he was talking about last night. At the same time, she remembered Edgar mentioning how he would do anything to help Ermine find happiness.
Ermine`s one-sided attraction. But most likely she knew that Edgar regarded her as family. That`s why this was too unbearable an end.
“Ultimately…… even now, I’m still the Prince’s slave. The memory of that man being everything and absolute isn’t so easily overcome. Even as I’m still fleeing trying to escape, just as I think I can finally see the exit to this maze, it’s as though he’s waiting just beyond…… Regardless of how many years passed, that fear never faded. That’s how it was even for me, so Ermine, who’d been his woman, must have been carrying an even deeper hurt, dread, and fear.”
It was something that only those who’d been through the despair of losing one’s sense of self becoming
little more than a puppet, yet still living could understand. Lydia couldn’t even imagine how much they must have suffered when they were with the man known as the Prince. But she could understand Ermine’s feelings a little.
She thought she could understand, just a little, Ermine’s true bittersweet feelings that could neither be forced nor controlled, deep within that betrayal. If she took Lydia with her, Lydia wouldn’t be killed by Edgar. In any case, as a traitor, Ermine would no longer be able to stay by Edgar’s side. It was a brief flight that would last only until either the time when Edgar was caught by the Prince, or until her betrayal was discovered.
A fleeting love that would eventually have to end. That’s why she wanted to end everything here and now.
Edgar slowly climbed to his feet.
“Please give me a moment. I’ll be back shortly.”
As he disappeared into the building, he looked so empty as though he might disappear. It was too much that his wanting the Blue Knight Earl’s noble sword might have been what had driven her to this. Edgar had wished that she could grow out her hair, dress up, and smile like a normal girl.
“You would cry, for my sister’s sake?”
At Raven’s words, Lydia finally noticed the tears that ran down her cheeks.
“Even though she tried to kill you.”
She suddenly wondered if Ermine really intended to kill her. If she’d intended that from the beginning, there was no need for Ermine to tell Lydia about Edgar’s plans. In which case, her talking about it meant that she had thought of Lydia being alive when reaching where the sword lay.