Marketing. the halbert letter

Don’t let
The kids see this
“if James used the effort
Toward his studies that he uses
to be humorous, he’d be an A
– from Jay Leno’s
fifth-grade report card,
quoted in Time magazine.

South of Jewfish Creek

Dear Friend & Subscriber,

Today, we’re going to discuss the “Halbert Index.”

The Halbert Index is a totally unique way of classifying people. To be at the top of the Index you must have the following:

(1) You must have a life, and

(2) You must have a sense of humor, and

(3) You must have intelligence and be an independent thinker, and

(4) You must be a generous and giving person but… at the same time…

(5) You must refuse to take shit from anyone who doesn’t have a gun to your head, and

(6) You must be willing to take chances and cheerfully accept losses, and


You must have the capacity and courage for true intimacy with your loved ones, friends… and sometimes… even your associates and strangers, and

(8) You must be wealthy always in your mind… and therefore… very often… in your pocket, and

(9) You must be honest and have integrity not defined by laws but rather, by the inner-core of your being, and finally

(10) You must have a relationship with a higher power (nicknamed “God”) that does not necessarily include and/or often transcends any association with an organized religion.

What have I described here? Simply this:

A Player!

Listen, I have found my newsletters, my speeches and my personality seem to be like a giant meat cleaver cutting through the sea of humanity… separating those who have any type of contact with me into two very distinct groups. One group is made up of zestful, hard-working, risk-taking, fun-loving Players. The other group consists of losers unable to laugh at themselves and who are scared witless at the idea of taking risks.

Losers (those poor souls at the bottom rungs of the Halbert Index) have a number of common characteristics:

(1) They are generally spectators instead of players, and

(2) They are usually critics who revel in grading people with whom they can’t compete, and

(3) Sometimes, they have financial wealth (most often they don’t) but they are always poor in their minds, and

(4) They get their pseudo self-esteem from the grades given to them by others and have no innate “sense of being” nor a core of natural integrity, and

(5) They think they have a sense of humor but they don’t, since they can only laugh at jokes made at the expense of others and they always fail to see the ludicrousness of much of their own endeavors, and

(6) They often have intelligence in a technical way but almost no ability whatsoever for true independent and innovative thought, and

(7) They lack courage and will study and “rehearse” endlessly but, will avoid at all costs ever letting the curtain come up… unless… someone else has agreed to star in the play, and

(8) They don’t understand true morality. Therefore, they are much more concerned with what’s legal rather than with what’s right, and

(9) They will be as obnoxious and abusive as possible to those under them but, will kiss ass like crazy to curry favor with their superiors, and finally

(10) Many of them will have college degrees but will never recognize these degrees as the silly jokes they are… and… they are unable to grasp the vital fact all true education is self education.

Marketing. the halbert letter