It wasn’t about love, not even some kind of connection. Okay, well there was connection. Just a little omnipotent feeling that I never felt before in my heart. It started out simple, he came to everyone and offered every single a flower, day by day. One day.. I received mine, I was literally bursting with happy sparks. I hid though, and simply shoved the flower in my pocket. I mumbled a thank you and asked quietly.. “Do you think you’ll swoon me with a flower, like every other girl?”. He.. laughed.. so gently and gentleman-like. That got my heart. He took it at that moment. He said.. ” No.. I believe every women should feel loved and cared for, nothing more. A simple gift, much like my flowers.. can be a great thing for a brokenheart.” I blinked. Swooned. And amazed. He was the one. I was sure. As time passed by, we became friends.. good friends. He was there whenever I needed him, I felt his his hugs could protect me from the hurt and pain, it did.
At times, I spoke to other boys.. and I did realize how quickly upset he’d get. I never understood why. I mean, did he love me back? Just as I did? I knew.. that he knew that I loved him for it was obvious. Very obvious. Everyone noticed it. He never did anything about it. Then one.. day, that very special day in December, he came to me.. and said “I’ve always loved you, I always did.. please.. push aside our differences and let us become one. I never did like the words you spoke to the other boys, I wanted you safe.. not in their perverse minds.” I was shocked, bewildered.. and finally happy. We leaned in, and soon our lips met. That moment was tragically magic. I felt alive… I felt.. loved. We became one. As days passed, we laughed, smiled and shared stories. Oh.. how sweet it was. It was something I wanted to hold onto. Something I didn’t want to leave me. But eventually.. it descended to the darkness. I committed wrong things, things he did not like.. and when he scolded me for it.. I grew scared and nervous, and soon demanded that we should end this relationship. He was baffled, and somewhat speechless. He left without another word. That night I thought.. what was I thinking? Why would I do that? As I thought over it, my eyes blurred, and I cried.. I cried with such violence I was afraid I’d wake the others. Finally.. I slept. In the morning I immediately went to him and asked for forgiveness. I was on my knees, believe it or not.. I was on my knees. He looked down at me with such coldness, it sent icy daggers through my chest. With no avail, he shook his head “No” and walked away. I was broken, frail and.. alone. I cried out into the sky and cried more, neverending tears. As I went home, I crawled into bed and remained there… for longest of times. Crying, crying.. and shaking. I needed him. He was my life. Mine only. I thought over our times and only cried more. My depression was poison. It still is. Its been about a year and a half, and here I am. My heart aches still, but as I look past my time with him.. as I smile and look down at the flower he first gave.. I know.. that there’s hope. Now that flower is down a river, finding its path.. alone.