House rules: quotes and sayings from doctor house

“Everybody lies.”
“I don’t ask why patients lie, I just assume they all do.”
“It’s a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what.”
“Truth begins in lies.”
“I’ve found that when you want to know the truth about someone that someone is probably the last person you should ask.”
“You want to know how two chemicals interact, do you ask them?

No, they’re going to lie through their lying little chemical teeth. Throw them in a beaker and apply heat.”
“…like the philosopher Jagger once said, ‘You can’t always get what you want.'” This is backed up with the song by the Rolling Stones which plays at the end of the pilot and the first season finale.
“Humanity is overrated.”
“Reality is almost always wrong.”
“We all make mistakes, and we all pay a price.”
“…there’s no I in ‘team’. There is a me, though, if you jumble it up.”
“Everybody does stupid things, it shouldn’t cost them everything they want in life.”
“People like talking about people. Makes us feel superior. Makes us feel in control. And sometimes, for some people, knowing some things makes them care.”
“Men are pigs. [They will] pretty much have sex with anyone, fat, skinny, married, single, complete strangers, relatives.”
“I choose to believe that the white light people sometimes see… they’re all just chemical reactions that take place when the brain shuts down…. There’s no conclusive science. My choice has no practical relevance to my life, I choose the outcome I find more comforting…. I find it more comforting to believe that this isn’t simply a test.”
“It’s been established that time is not a rigid construct.”
“It’s one of the great tragedies of life – something always changes.”
“I was never that great at math, but next to nothing is higher than nothing, right?”
“We treat it. If she[he] gets better we know that we’re right.”
“Our bodies break down, sometimes when we’re 90, sometimes before we’re even born, but it always happens and there’s never any dignity in it. I don’t care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass. It’s always ugly. Always. You can live with dignity, we can’t die with it.”
“I solved the case, my work is done.”
“Patients always want proof, we’re not making cars here, we don’t give guarantees.”
“…treating illnesses is why we became doctors, treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.”
“Tests take time. Treatment’s quicker.”
“Pretty much all the drugs I prescribe are addictive and dangerous.”
“Patients sometimes get better. You have no idea why, but unless you give a reason they won’t pay you. Anybody notice if there’s a full moon? … let’s rule out the lunar god and go from there.”
“Occam’s Razor. The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up.”
“Never met a diagnostic study I couldn’t refute.”
“I take risks, sometimes patients die. But not taking risks causes more patients to die, so I guess my biggest problem is I’ve been cursed with the ability to do the math.”
“Never trust doctors.”
“That’s a catchy diagnosis, you could dance to that.”
“Idiopathic, from the Latin meaning we’re idiots cause we can’t figure out what’s causing it.”
“If he gets better, I’m right, if he dies, you’re right.”
“Tragedies happen.”
“Weird works for me.”
“In case I’m wrong. It has happened.”
“It does tell us something. Though I have no idea what.”
“I hurt my leg. I have a note.”
“The eyes can mislead, the smile can lie, but the shoes always tell the truth.”

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House rules: quotes and sayings from doctor house