Friends. the one with ross’ tan

Monica: Hey, sweetie.

Ross: Wow

Chandler: Hey, stop staring at my wife’s legs. No, no, stop staring at your sister’s legs.

Ross: Sorry, it’s just… How’d you get so tan?

Chandler: She went to one of those spray-on tan places.

Ross: You got a spray-on tan?

Monica: Chandler gets pedicures!

Ross: What? You do? Like, with the toe separators?

Chandler: Why? Why?

Ross: Still, I can’t believe that’s sprayed on. I mean, it looks really good. I wonder if I should get one.

Chandler: Sure, then you should get a miniskirt so you can really show it off.

Ross: So do you get colors or just French tips?

Monica: There. Here’s their card.

Ross: Thanks. Hey, I know where this place is. It used to be an X-rated video… Florist.

Phoebe: Hey.

Chandler: Hey, Pheebs.

Phoebe: You won’t believe who moved back to town.

Monica: I know. Amanda. She called me too. She’s the worst.

Chandler: Who’s Amanda?

Monica: She’s this girl who lived in the building before you did.
Then she moved to England and picked up this fake British accent. On the machine, this is her message: “Monica, darling, it’s Amanda calling.”

Chandler: Are you trying to do a British accent?

Monica: Chandler gets pedicures.

Chandler: Just so I know, how many more of those can I expect?

Phoebe: Know what Amanda said when she called me? “Oh, so sorry to catch you on your mobile.” If you didn’t wanna get me on my mobile, then don’t call me on my mobile.

Monica: And she always brags about all the famous people she’s met.

Phoebe: Oh, I know! “I slept with Billy Joel.” All right, who hasn’t?

Monica: I don’t wanna see her.

Phoebe: Let’s just cut her out.

Monica: What?

Phoebe: Cut

her out of our lives. Just ignore her calls and dodge her till she gets the point.

Monica: Well, I guess we could try that. But it seems so harsh. Have you ever done that?

Chandler: No. Had it done to me, though. Feels good.

Worker: So how dark do you wanna be? We have one, two or three.

Ross: Well, I like how you look. What are you?

Worker: Puerto Rican.

Ross: Two. I think a two.

Worker: You’ll face the red light. When the light’s on, the spraying’s about to start, so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five, pat yourself to avoid drip marks, then turn to get your back. Got it?

Ross: Spray, count, pat and turn. Spray, count and pat.

Worker: You catch on quick.

Ross: Well, I have a Ph. D., so…
… One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three… Wait, wait! I’m not… I’m not finished counting! You sprayed my front twice!

Worker: You never turned?

Ross: No! I barely got to “three Mississippi”!

Worker: Mississippi? I said count to five.

Ross: Mississippi-less-ly? Well, how bad is it?

Worker: Not that bad yet. But it gets darker for the next four hours.

Ross: So how dark will it get?

Worker: You got sprayed with two twos and…

Ross: I’m a four?

Worker: Yeah, but your back’s a zero. You’ll wanna even that out.

Ross: Really?

Worker: You might wanna get back in there.

Ross: Oh, okay! Wait a minute, there’s no light on the back wall. How do I know when it’s gonna start? Hello? My eyes! The same thing happened again!

Worker: You got two more twos?

Ross: I’m an eight!

Worker II: You go into the booth, and…

Ross: I’m gonna stop you right there, Glenda. Okay? Does it look like this is my first time, huh? Now I want 4 two’s… and I want them all on my back.

Worker II: Okay…

Ross: Wait a minute, there’s two sets of nozzles, which one is it?

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Friends. the one with ross’ tan