Film fest season: how to make a david lynch film

I don’t have an illustration for this post. Instead I have a picture of my cat, guarding the front door with Walter and Nigel.

Anyway! Now for today’s story! I love the internet. I’ve only been writing on Sneakaloo for about a year, but because I’ve been able to use the internet to connect with the blogiverse, I’ve had the opportunity to see a movie before it opened in theaters, meet other awesome bloggers, and spout my opinions to strangers around the world. It’s pretty great. And now, thanks to Twitter, I’ve been invited to review a new short film that will be making its way through the film fest circuit. How to Make a David Lynch Film by Red and Tan Productions was born out of a drunken conversation about how weird and repetitive David Lynch movies are.

I am a bad film buff. I had to go to IMDB to confirm, but I’ve only seen one David Lynch movie start to finish and it accomplished its goal of weirding me out. The movie was Blue Velvet and it basically made me feel dirty and confused. I think that’s honestly David Lynch’s goal with his movies. I think he probably gets a kick out of the idea of millions of people watching his movies and feeling icky. Pervert.

But, the plus side of seeing movies by filmmakers who see themselves as revolutionary for their weirdness, which actually makes them more film-schooly and hence heroes to young assholes with intelligentsia complexes everywhere, is that if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. If you seen one surreal visual non sequitor, you’ve seen them all. You’ve seen one beautiful woman with troubles do something humiliating in front of an older man with a substance abuse issue, you’ve seen them all. You’ve seen one lesbian sex scene with Naomi Watts, you’ve…actually, I haven’t seen that one.

Don’t get me wrong – I think he probably is a genius. People who are that good

at making you feel like there’s a gremlin in your subconscious usually are. But that doesn’t mean I have to like him. Did you know he sells his own brand of coffee online? See, geniuses can also put their weirdness toward capital gain. Did you know he has practiced transcendental meditation since the 1970s? Geniuses are also good at making you think they are better than you. I should write a book.

How to Make a David Lynch Film clocks in at about five-and-a-half minutes and manages to squeeze in some great parody and a well-executed imitation of Lynch’s look, all while keeping a very self-aware sense of humor about the whole independently made cheap production thing they’re doing. They got some great jokes out of the idea of making a semi-shoddy movie with non-professionals. More power to them! Plus they found some great lookalikes for Dennis Hopper and even Isabella Rosselini. I was a little wary at first about being asked to review some little movie I’d never heard of before. But the honest truth is, the BF and I laughed throughout. From the comedic moments the actors pulled off to the pointed jabs at Lynch…it’s a charming, well-done little picture. They also threw in a few man-on-the-street segments interviewing people about Lynch. I loved that they found not only some youngish hipster who called him “a gem,” a variety of people saying they’ve never heard of him, and people who called him a genius but weird, but also a lady who said she actually preferred Oliver Stone. HA.

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Film fest season: how to make a david lynch film