I don’t look ahead. I’m right here with you. It’s a good way to be.
I walk into this beautiful, well-appointed office and there’s Jim Brooks and a bunch of the others. I had my sleeves rolled up and I throw the script on the table and say, “All right, who wrote this shit?” Nothing happens in the room. There’s total silence. And then they just fucking died laughing. I sat in the chair and they couldn’t stop laughing. From that moment on, I was Louie on Taxi.
Summers in Asbury Park were hot, man, hot. The sand was blistering hot, so you’d run on the beach from blanket edge to blanket edge. When you do, people get mad at you.
I always wanted a swimming pool. The kind where you just go out in the yard and dive in. As a kid, you’d dig a hole, throw in some water, and get a mud pit. That was, like, a big thing in New Jersey. The first thing I did when Taxi hit and things starting rolling was look for a place with
a swimming pool.
My father came up through the Depression. He was like a hobo for a long time, on a freight car, traveling through twenty-one states. His whole attitude was, there are three sides to every story, so you gotta make sure everything is copacetic before you commit.
I never had a problem being bullied. I think it’s an important thing for kids to know. Have an equalizer with you. The guy who says, “Ain’t nobody gonna touch Danny!”
When you were a kid, you used to hear, “They can allow a certain amount of rat parts in a hot dog.” What do you mean you can allow a certain amount? Who says, first of all? And what are you talking about that there’s rat parts in my hot dog? Are you kidding me? The Food and Drug Administration allows it? What? Who gave them the permission to allow rat parts in my hot dog? They say, “Well, there’s no way to get them out.” Well, who put them in in the first place?
Commerce. There’s a story about Salvador Dalí. Everyone is waiting for him to come to a lecture, and he’s late as usual. People are standing out in front of the hall, a fancy Rolls-Royce pulls up, and it’s filled with cauliflower. And Dalí is packed in with the cauliflower. That’s how he felt.
Rhea’s Jewish. I’m Catholic. It’s always worked well. We do the seders and the Christmas tree. We hide the matzo and have the Easter Bunny. But we don’t do things like Lent. We’ve never fasted when you’re supposed to in the Jewish religion. We only do the fun stuff. We took away the burning-in-hell part.
If you’re going to have kids, there’s only one way to go. They have to know they’re the most important things in your life, and once you’re doing that, there’s no way that you could not learn from them, because they just give you stuff constantly.
I guess the almighty dollar has totally done in everybody who’s got any kind of altruism in their hearts. Nobody’s ready to get their balls cut off for what they believe in. Is anybody out there with his dick on the line? Who?
On the other hand, why would you be a politician in Mexico? That’s a short lease on life.
It’s not a thing you can put your finger on, because you can never know what Jack Nicholson’s thinking. Sometimes we’re talking and you just have to go along for the ride because he’s always going somewhere.
A good part for Arnold would be a burlesque lederhosen guy.
Yeah, I’ve been to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It’s a tower, and it’s leaning. You look at it, but nothing happens, so then you look for someplace to get a sandwich.
You have to give people permission to laugh.