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Definition of Programmer

Programmer:

A person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis of being able to turn out, after innumberable poundings, an infinite series of incomprehensive answers calculated with micrometric precisions from vague assumptions based on debatable figures from inconclusive documents and carried out on instruments of problematical accuracy by persons of dubious reliability and questionable mentality for the avowed purpose of annoying and confounding a hopelessly defenseless department that was unfortunate enough to ask for the information in the first place.


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ΠŸΠΎΡ…ΠΎΠΆΠΈΠ΅ Ρ‚ΠΎΠΏΠΈΠΊΠΈ ΠΏΠΎ английскому:

  1. A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other… – Π°Π½Π΅ΠΊΠ΄ΠΎΡ‚ Π½Π° A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the...

  2. Programmer productivity: the “tenfinity factor” It’s widely accepted in the software industry that some programmers are much more productive than others. Many experts cite an order-of-magnitude productivity difference between the...

  3. 29/97 don’t rely on “magic happens here” – 97 things every programmer should know Don’t Rely on “Magic Happens Here” If you look at any activity, process, or discipline from far enough away it looks simple. Managers with no...

  4. I Want to be a Programmer I want to become a computer programmer. I am interested in computers. It is a whole new world. Many people continue careers of their parents...

  5. 39/97 improve code by removing it – 97 things every programmer should know Improve Code by Removing It Less is more. It’s a quite trite little maxim, but sometimes it really is true. One of the improvements I’ve...

  6. 14/97 code reviews – things every programmer should know Code Reviews You should do code reviews. Why? Because they increase code quality and reduce defect rate. But not necessarily for the reasons you might...

  7. How to be a programmer: a short, comprehensive, and personal summary – part 2 Personal skills How to stay motivated It is a wonderful and surprising fact that programmers are highly motivated by the desire to create artifacts that...

  8. 13/97 code layout matters – things every programmer should know Code Layout Matters An infeasible number of years ago I worked on a Cobol system where staff weren’t allowed to change the indentation unless they...

  9. 37/97 hard work does not pay off – 97 things every programmer should know Hard Work Does not Pay Off As a programmer, working hard often does not pay off. You might fool yourself and a few colleagues into...

  10. I Want to be a Programmer – Π― Ρ…ΠΎΡ‡Ρƒ Π±Ρ‹Ρ‚ΡŒ программистом I want to become a computer programmer. I am interested in computers. It is a whole new world. Many people continue careers of their parents...

  11. Technical papers every programmer should read 10 Technical Papers Every Programmer Should Read (At Least Twice) Sep 8, 2011 This is the second entry in a series on programmer enrichment Inspired...

  12. 26/97 don’t ignore that error! – 97 things every programmer should know Don’t Ignore that Error! I was walking down the street one evening to meet some friends in a bar. We hadn’t shared a beer in...

  13. 16/97 a comment on comments – 97 things every programmer should know A Comment on Comments In my first programming class in college, my teacher handed out two BASIC coding sheets. On the board, the assignment read...

  14. 6/97 before you refactor – things every programmer should know Before You Refactor At some point every programmer will need to refactor existing code. But before you do so please think about the following, as...

  15. 17/07 comment only what the code cannot say – 97 things every programmer should know Comment Only What the Code Cannot Say The difference between theory and practice is greater in practice than it is in theory – an observation...

  16. Software testing terms and definitions Precision and Accuracy As a software tester, it’s important to know the difference between precision and accuracy. Suppose that you’re testing a calculator. Should you...

  17. By definition A young Army 1st Lt. is in the bathroom (head) releaving himself at the urinal, when a young boy walks in. The boy, seeing the...

  18. I Want to be a Programmer – Π― Ρ…ΠΎΡ‡Ρƒ Π±Ρ‹Ρ‚ΡŒ программистом I want to become a computer programmer. I am interested in computers. It is a whole new world. Many people continue careers of their parents...

  19. The wrong definition Way down in the deep south, in an area known as the ‘Bible Belt,’ there lived a Baptist minister with a very large congregation. One...

  20. Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing —————– It’s the only type of cooking a “real” man will do. When a man volunteers to do such cooking, the...


Definition of Programmer