We all know somebody who seems bound and determined to be miserable. Everyone has times when they are unhappy, but there is a difference between experiencing sadness because of circumstances, and living an unhappy life.
Even if you are basically a happy person, take a look at these lies that unhappy people love to tell and see if any of them are keeping you from experiencing the greatest amount of happiness in your life.
1. Happiness has to wait until everything is perfect. Happy people understand that life has ups and downs and that the key to feeling at peace is accepting our circumstances for what they are and making the choice to find joy in imperfect times.
This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try to change your situation for the better. However, learning to be happy in the midst of your struggles can give you the power and motivation to work towards your goals. Being mired in misery can have the opposite effect and make it that much harder to improve
2. There is only one way to look at any situation. Unhappy people tend to be very inflexible about their thinking and refuse to believe that they can actively change their perception of events to one that is more positive.
It’s not lying to look for the best way to interpret any situation. Nor is it unrealistic. Instead, it’s a powerful tool that can turn a situation that looks hopeless into one where you feel empowered to make things better.
3. I know what other people are thinking. It’s devastatingly easy to jump to the wrong conclusion when judging other people’s motivations. Happy people understand that it’s almost impossible to read minds and reserve judgment before concluding that others are being selfish, malicious, or otherwise meaning them harm.
4. Other people should know how I feel. Stubbornly insisting that other people should be able to pick up how we are feeling is a recipe for feeling constantly insulted. Happy people understand that it’s much more proactive to communicate how they are feeling rather than to wait miserably for others to figure it out.
5. I have no control over my life and circumstances. Many unhappy people genuinely believe that they are completely powerless and there is very little that they can do to improve their situations. Who wouldn’t feel unhappy if they believed themselves to be helpless and hopeless?
6. I won’t be disappointed if I expect the worst. Happy people do get disappointed sometimes, there is no denying that, but never allowing yourself to feel excited, hopeful, or optimistic is denying yourself the joy of anticipation. Understanding that you will feel let down or disappointed occasionally in life, but that’s okay and you can make it through unscathed, is a key component to feeling fundamentally happy.
7. Other people are fools and rubes. Having disdain for almost everyone you meet is sure to make you feel lonely and isolated. You might feel superior, but you won’t be happy. The truth is, most people are of average intelligence and have different interests and areas of expertise than you have. Happy people respect this and look for where others shine, rather than where they fall short.
8. Thinking only of way things can go wrong is realistic. After all, nothing ever turns out better than expected. Unhappy people love to shoot holes in plans and convince themselves not to take chances or plan for all the things that are sure to go wrong. What they are doing is giving themselves a 100% guarantee that things will not get better.
9. The world is a completely miserable, dangerous place.