Computer Ease!


The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 2000: 1. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. 2. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 3. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 4. Press any key except… no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE! 5. Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test. 6. Close your eyes and press escape three times. 7. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. 8. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? 9. Windows message: “Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)” 10. This is a message from God Gates: “Rebooting the world. Please log off.” 11. To “shut down” your system, type “WIN.” 12. BREAKFAST. SYS halted… Cereal port not responding. 13. COFFEE. SYS missing… Insert cup in cup holder and press any key. 14. CONGRESS. SYS corrupted… Reboot Washington D. C? (Y/N) 15. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) 16. Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N) 17. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. 18. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N) 19. WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER. SYS) 20. User Error: Replace user. 21. Windows VirusScan 1.0 – “Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)” 22. Welcome to Microsoft’s World – Your Mortgage is Past Due… 23. If you are an artist, you should know that Bill Gates owns you and all your future creations. Doesn’t it feel nice to have security? 24. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way.



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Computer Ease!