31st October 2007
It’s 1:02 a. m. and I’m not able to sleep after the painful news received around eleven that my best friend, my hero, my sister God forgot to give me, my everything was graced with 24 hours to live. I don’t know why this happens and why it will continue – all I know is I will have a new angel watching over me, and her name is Vanessa.
My friend Vanessa was very ill. They were saying it was only a matter of hours. But I was in denial. When I called the hospital hoping to hear that she was on an upswing, because that’s what I wanted to believe, her parents told me, “Miley, she died”.
I couldn’t process it. She was dead? But she was so young. I couldn’t accept it. How could she die? How could God feel like her job here was done? I’d never lost a friend before. I was wrecked.
It was late at night. We were at a Walmart in the middle of nowhere. I couldn’t get back on that bus. I needed things to halt. I went out into the middle of a snow-covered field and lay down. The sharp blades of frozen grass poked at my bare arms. I lay on my back staring at a big white sign saying ‘SUPERMARKET’. Vanessa was gone, and I hadn’t been there by her side at the end.
After a while, Linda, my teacher, and my mom came out to get me. Linda said, “Look how happy you made her. She had a good last few months. When she needed you, you were there”. My mom said, “You knew she needed you, but it seems like you didn’t realize how much you needed her”.